Then
by Rosalind2013
Summary: Beast boy looks back at the most important parts of his life. A one-shot inspired by a song I heard on the radio. BBXRae, written from Beast boy's point of view.


**This was inspired by the song 'Then' by Brad Paisley. I disclaim both the song and the Teen Titans.**

* * *

**Then**

I sat clutching her clammy hand as she moaned in agony.

I gazed lovingly into her amethyst eyes; trying to communicate everything I wanted, and needed, to say to her without the near-by doctors' overhearing marring the profound nature of the words that I longed to utter: the words meant only for _her_ hears.

She seemed to her my silent message, because the corners of her mouth turned up in a small, tired-looking smile. Suddenly her reassuring expression contorted into on of pure agony, and she stuffed her fist into her mouth to muffle her shriek, as her body was wracked with pain.

Her grip tightened on my hand, and her nails dug into my skin. I didn't care. That minute physical pain was nothing compared to the agony of having to sit here and watch her go though this torture. The pain of absolute uselessness was far more potent; I couldn't take it anymore.

Suddenly, I plunged headfirst into my memories; anything to escape that dreaded hospital room.

_I sat on a rock outside my home; my face in my hands; my thoughts in a flurry of turmoil. Then she spoke once more, _

"_If it wasn't for that beast, I might not be here right now. Having that thing inside doesn't make you an animal. Knowing when to let it out is what makes you a man."_

_I instantly felt a warm feeling course through my numb limbs, and – of course – I tactlessly blurted out the first thing that came to mind,_

"_Maybe you should call me...Beast _Man_ from now on."_

_Her encouraging expression darkened,_

"_We're having a moment here. Don't ruin it."_

_I instantly obeyed her and dropped back to the ground obediently. As my gaze met hers; I suddenly noticed how the pale light of the moon highlighted her porcelain features, casting soft shadows in whatever areas were not touched by the luminescent moonlight. Her amethyst eyes sparkled with life and innocence as I saw her – truly saw her – for the first time._

_And she was beautiful._

_It was then that everything clicked into place, and I thought to myself:_

_Now you're my whole life, now you're my whole world. I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl. Like the river meets the sea, stronger than it's ever been. We've come so far since that day._

_And I thought I loved you then…_

I delved directly into another memory to avoid focusing too much on the present situation.

_She stood in front of me in the deserted hallway – her lilac eyes as wide as saucers – her expression one of disbelief. My heart palpitated wildly and my blood pounded in my ears; my knees went weak as I awaited her reaction._

_She seemed to struggle to assemble a coherent sentence; and even when she spoke, her speech was halting,_

_  
"You…love…me?"_

_I swallowed convulsively, trying to clear the lump from my throat, before I answered her,_

"_Yes…I do."_

_Her expression remained frozen in shock,_

"_How long?"_

_I blinked; Math? Uh oh…_

"_Um…Since about a year and a half ago…"_

_She stayed silent; seeming to assess me for any signs of dishonesty. Her eyes met with mine and I watched a multitude of emotions cross her face. She abruptly lunged forward and wrapped her arms around my neck, leaning her head on my shoulder. I stiffened in surprise at first; but instantly relaxed as I returned her embrace. As I breathed in her unique scent; I whispered – so quietly that I'm still not sure she heard – into her ear,_

"_Now you're my whole life, now you're my whole world. I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl. Like the river meets the sea, stronger than it's ever been. We've come so far since that day."_

_And I thought I loved you then…_

I dove into another memory…

_As I dropped to one knee and pulled the little black box out of my back pocket; I felt a surge of anxiety that I had not felt so potently since the day that I uttered those three famed words so long ago._

_She gasped quietly, as did the rest of the people in the elegant restaurant. I didn't see them though, I only saw her as I spoke straight from the bottom of my heart:_

"_Now you're my whole life, now you're my whole world. I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl. Like the river meets the sea, stronger than it's ever been. We've come so far since that first day. And I thought I loved you then…"_

_I gently pulled the velvet box open to reveal a sparkling diamond ring. A murmur of appreciation rung through the watching crowd, and I took her hand in mine,_

"_Raven, will you marry me?"_

_Her eyes narrowed infinitesimally,_

"_I'm insulted that you had to ask."_

_I shrugged and waited expectantly. She sniffed as her expression softened and tears began to well in her violet eyes,_

"_Yes."_

_I felt a smile spread across my face as I slid the ring onto her slender finger. Once the ring was in place, she threw herself into my arms and we embraced as the crowd cheered approvingly. Her head rested on my shoulder, reminding me of that first day. She shifted slightly so that she could whisper into my ear,_

"_Gar, I love you; but why would you choose _me_?"_

_I whispered back to her,_

"_Cause I can just see you with a baby on the way. And I can just see you when your hair is turning gray. But what I can't see is how I could possibly love you more…but I've said that before…"_

"Gar? Gar, it's over."

I snapped out of my reverie upon hearing my beloved's voice; just before a warm pink bundle was gently pressed into my arms by a doctor. I gazed down with wonder at the child I held in my arms, this new life that had seemed so surreal – so impossible – until I held her in my arms. A warm feeling coursed through me as the infant opened her eyes, and an exact copy of my forest green eyes gazed back at me. Her miniature face peered up at me, her skin as pale as her mother's – and I felt a smile break across my face as she cooed contentedly. I gently tugged her pink hat back a bit; curious as to her hair color. At first glance, it was black; but upon closer inspection, it had a faint tinge of purple. The warmth I felt seemed to fill me with happiness; and my voice trembled with emotion as I spoke to the baby in my arms:

"Now you're my whole life…now you're my whole world… I just can't believe the way I feel about this baby girl…"

I turned my dumbfounded gaze to my exhausted wife's tired face. A sheen of sweat coated her skin, giving her a very worn look. Even so, she looked just as beautiful as she had in that white dress and she cracked a full-blown smile at me, joy permeating her expression. I grinned back at her, mirroring her expression,

"Like a river meets the sea, stronger than it's ever been. We've come so far since that first day…

And I thought I loved you then…"

* * *

**Well, here it is! I hope you enjoyed it! And I enabled anonymous reviews, so no one has any excuse not to review now!**

**Please Review!**

~Rose


End file.
